My Sweetheart Liam
by CarlaConnorFic
Summary: Oneshot; Carla visits liams grave


_My Sweetheart_

The bitter cold afternoon stung the tip of her nose as she shivered strolling through the cemetery gates. Her breath was visible in front of her and the birds chirping became annoying. She stopped for a few seconds in front of a headstone, staring holding back tears that were accumulating her eyes. She knelt on the frosted hard grass before her and scratched the frost away revealing his name properly. She took off her leather glove before stroking the headstone as though it were his face. Carla's bottom lip shook as she couldn't fight back the tears that escaped her green eyes. Sitting cross legged over his grave she opened up the letter she had brought with her

_My Sweetheart Liam,_

Its strange as I sit here and write this letter, as 8 months ago this would have been a conversation between the both of us, no doubt it would end as another of many pointless and silly arguments. I just wanted to let you know how much I love you as the night you were taken from me Liam we didn't end on good terms. I want you to know I could never have imagined life without you and still find it hard to look towards my future without you in my life. I need you to know I love you so much every last muscle aches for your touch to be around me again, to feel your warmth snuggle me close and listen as your sleeping breaths whistle my ears. Yes iv had partners in the past but none like you, not one of them understood me like you did. When I looked in your eyes I knew you understood and loved me back, the way our bodies interlocked and our hearts pounded against each others, the way you lips would feel as the brushed across mine and how your smell would make my day brighter. Small things like this are what I will miss most, they made you, and therefore they made us. The way you would leave your underwear lying around on purpose or the way you would leave your tea bag on the sink at work, those things I will miss and will never let go of! Ill never let go of you, I wont let my Connor you were the reason I woke in the morning and got on with this hell hole we call life. I can not put into words how that night shattered me into thousands of heartbroken fragments, nor can I express how deep and passionate my love for you was but know this liam I will forever and ever love you! why did you have to go and leave me in this world alone. No one to love, to cuddle at night to share my life with. Instead I come to visit you at your grave Liam this shouldn't be happening you shouldn't be gone, I should knock on your door and expect to see your face looking back at mine only I don't I get no answer. I know as I read this out you can hear me and I hope you feel the depth of my everlasting love as Liam that is what it is Iif only we had found each other earlier in life, maybe we could have been together. But there's no point saying what if's now because I can't turn back the hands of time. All I know is that baby I will NEVER stop loving you, you are my one and only. I remember May 1998 at you cousins 18_th__, you got so drunk you were sick in the taxi home, I had to look after you and we argued. I told you I wish id never met you as you had embarrassed me in front of the cab driver, how I couldn't have been so wrong. Life without you Liam is impossible to imagine and what id give to go back to May 1998 no one knows I'm lost without you baby I need you here, I remember you saying once ;_

"If ever you need me just close your eyes and remember me, the memories alone will pull you through", and that is what I do everyday and have done every day since being without you. I must go now Liam but not forever just for a short while but before I do I have something to leave you with;

Dear daddy up in the sky  
I may not be born yet,  
but mummy tells me  
Of you I will never forget.

I may only be a small bump  
a petite bundle of love,  
tucked in mummy's tummy  
ready to send my love up on a dove.

it's a shame we never met daddy  
iv a feeling you would love me,  
Mummy's little angel I am  
Daddy's little princess I would be.

But I make this promise for you  
and I mean it with all my heart,  
ill look after mummy for you  
me and her will never part.

So rest peacefully Daddy  
I will always love you  
Mummy will tell me of you daily  
that alone is more than enough to get through!

Love you always you baby girl Maddison xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I love you Liam good night God bless

Love you always Leebugs your sweetheart Carla

x

She rose from the grave clutching her growing 8 month baby bump, eyes stinging from tears and ice cold weather conditions;

"Goodbye baby, I love you" Carla whispered as she kissed her fingers before planting them on top of his headstone. She stood a couple of seconds longer reading his name over and over before turning and walking away from his grave, one hand in her pocked, the other resting on hers and Liam's little girl.


End file.
